NOT FEELING GOOD RIGHT NOW

no having a great time right now i care for the wife she has bipolar2 PTSD personality disorder epilepsy and arthritis i have done for 6 years part time but for the last 2 years i have been looking after her full time i gave up a job of 17 years to do this. Im not a shamed of doing this job im doing i just want to be back in what i was doing i have lost so many friends doing this dont see people much no one comes round the house to see us it such a lonely life and its getting to me i get 5 hrs a week off caring slit in to 3hrs and 2 hrs i so wish i could get out more even for a day just to go fishing or some thing for me

WIFE AND THE PA

Well its been a month now and the wife has a been having a PA coming in to help her so i can have time off each week she gets 5 hours a week 3 on a Thursday evening so i can go out with a few friends at the amateur radio club and then 2 hours in the day time in the week.
well she as been struggling to cope with this our friend Fred keeps coming round to visit her and she is finding it hard to deal with the PA is ok with this problem and understands this is part of thing that happen with the wife. It is just the wife she keeps getting restless and angry and dont know how or what to do to stop it and wants me there. I am feeling guilty for leaving her and its starting to play on my mind as i dont want her to be like this every time but i do need to have a life as well catch 22 will speek with the doctors next week when we go as i should not be feeling like this when i get time off.

we care dont you

http://www.carersuk.org/news-and-campaigns/campaigns/we-care-don-t-you

THIS IS A SECTION FROM AN OTHER BLOG ON MINDFULNESS

http://sadiegee.co.uk/in-pursuit-of-mindfulness/

WHAT IS MINDFULNESS?

Mindfulness, defined as the “quality or state of being conscious or aware of something”, is a phenomenon I have come across recently and decided to look into a bit more. I’ve been reading about and practicing mindfulness meditation, a practice that allows you to train your mind to tune into your everyday awareness and pay attention to the world and how we experience it. I recently listened to the audio book by Danny Penman called ‘Mindfulness’, in a bid to learn more about how to apply the practice to my every day life. This is where the concept of having only 6 years left to live arose..

In Chapter 5 of the audiobook, Danny Penman explained it like this.

“Let’s say you’re 30 years old. We assume that the average life expectancy is 80, so you’ve got 50 years left. Plenty of time? But perhaps you’re only truly aware of every moment for 2 out of 16 waking hours a day…then your life expectancy is only another 6 years and 3 months. You’ll probably spend more time in meetings with your boss!

If a friend had told us that they only had this time left, we would be filled with grief and try to comfort them, yet without realising it we may be daydreaming along such a path ourselves. If we could double the number of hours we were truly alive and enjoying ourselves each day then in effect, we would be doubling our life expectancy. People spend hundreds of thousands of pounds on vitamins and unproven drugs to gain an extra few years of life, but we can achieve the same effect by learning to live mindfully. Simply waking up to our lives.”

I would suggest you re-read the above, it took me a few attempts to fully digest what it meant, and also the effect it could have on my life if I make a change and live mindfully.